If you don't believe them when they say you are beautiful...

you lean over and tell me you love me, only i cannot believe, you tell me my mirror must be broken because it is distorted what i see. you tell me i am perfect and right there i call your bluff, how can i have it all when i don't even have enough? your words are so amusing, they honestly make me laugh, you ask for my heart but i hesitate because all i have left is half. i can't love you to capacity because capacity is far too vast, so please do not rush me, i'm not ready to go this fast. people come in and out of my life at a speed too fast to keep, so don't blame me for holding back because you don't want to see me deep. you tell me again i'm beautiful, i cry because i can, i wish i could see myself the way you say i am. i'd love to love myself, i'd love to be okay, i'd love to take my insecurities - like my lunch - and throw them away. i try to think i'm beautiful, but yet, here i remain myself, words are hidden, insecurities are formed and my thoughts are on a shelf.